Day 13 through 18, have I failed?

Okay, yep... I blew it. Only 13 days in... and I blew it!!! Nope, I didn't blog every day... and since it's day 18, I really don't want to fake it and blog 5 days today. Nope. Don't want to do it.

And as I've said before... I'm cool with going a bit easy on myself. It's not like I was going to win the Publisher's Clearing house if I wrote every day. My true goal is to document a month in my life via this blog. And it's happening... this post will be a catchup-all. (Man, I want to go back and change that "c" to a "k"!) lol...

Thursday October 13th was the 3rd meeting to my daughter's 2nd grade Brownie troop. We had organized a field trip, which is always such a pleasure. No planning for this one... we just took the girls to Michael's Crafts for a self guided tour of the six elements of art. It was great! They always have a fun time off school property... of course it was raining cats and dogs, so we had the added bonus of hearing the girls' high pitched screams in and out of the car.

I made my first attempt of a chicken pot pie which turned out pretty good! A tad bit to much liquid... but the taste was delicious!

Friday October 14th was a regular work day. No real stand outs except going to bed to watch a TV show that Michael wasn't interested in... and falling asleep about ten seconds later. The middle age stuff is for the birds!

Saturday October 15th, I drove to Lake Geneva WI, leaving behind my family to meet up with my two college friends Sarah and Julie. We all turned 40 this past year, and made a promise to get together at least every ten years. We went to St. Louis when we turned 30. I had to arrive a day later then the two of them, and was thinking they might have already bonded... and I might feel uncomfortable... but of course, I was wrong. College friends. The first friends that really know who you are and love you all the same. We talked and laughed as if it were 22 years earlier... we bent over in laughter after reading a letter that Sarah had written me after she had to medically withdrawal from our Sophomore year. It. Was. Hysterical. Oh to hear her 19 year old voice!!! Honestly, not much has changed... but that was the funniest part.

We drank beer, and shopped, and had girl talk... it was just what my sometimes weary soul needed.



Sunday October 16th, I drove home after spending the morning with the girls. It was a beautifully sunny day, and the drive home through the corn fields was almost soothing. A great buffer for the re-entry into my real life... I followed this horse trailer for awhile... I just liked the look of it.

Monday October 17th, new glasses. The last time I was at the eye doctor was when Abbey was 3 months old. She will be six in December, and my eye strain was the proof! I was able to get new glasses... I kind of like them. They are a change that is for sure!

Tuesday October 18th, ketchup. ;o) Yes, a productive work day ending with a blog update? I think it's a success... and to my question... did I fail by not keeping up with my challenge to blog every day for 30 days? Yes. But, I did succeed and living a bit... hopefully documenting a teeny tiny bit for later.

And I can live with that.

Day 12- Do you remember?

Dear Grace & Abbey-
Today, I write this post to you... my sweet little girls. Whenever or if ever you read this... I wonder... do you remember?

Do you remember the day I picked you up from daycare and a neighbor to a house with no power? Do you remember turning on a light switch, and nothing happened? Do you remember Mommy picking up her cell phone with a bill in hand and head to the garage so you couldn't hear? Do you remember me calling Daddy in a panic? Do you remember me cooking the beautiful meatloaf on the grill, and the instant mashed on the stove instead of the microwave?

Do you remember me making a plate for Daddy, and meeting him at the movie theatre? Do you remember Daddy complimenting the meat loaf, while I seemed angry at him? Do remember the Smurf movie, and the giggles it gave you?

Do you remember coming home and Mommy and Daddy giving you flashlights to go to your room? Do you remember asking why your closet light wasn't on? Do you remember falling asleep instantly because we intentionally kept you out late?

Do you remember me driving you to school on a day we would normally walk? Do you remember me taking my laptop with us when I usually leave it at home? Do you remember me asking you to not talk about this at school, especially your best friends?

Abbey- do you remember going out to eat for lunch when we normally never do? Do you remember me calling home incessantly to see if the answering machine finally turned on?

Grace- Do you remember me picking you up from school in the car, when normally we would walk? Do you remember running an errand instead of going home? Do you remember me calling someplace on my cell phone over and over? And over?

Do you remember me whipping into the drive way, and asking you both to hurry inside? Do you remember the white ComEd truck in the street? Do you remember when we walked inside and I was relieved that the lights we turned on 30 hours ago were once again, back on?

Do you remember me making whatever it was you wanted to eat for dinner because I was to mentally exhausted to make a family meal?

You don't?

Well... I do.

Day 11- powerless

On Tuesday October 11th, I was unable to blog. No seriously... I couldn't. See tommorrow's post.

Day 10- attacking dinner

So a few days ago, I was whining about how I don't like to cook for my family. This week, I'm going to take a mini challenge Monday though Friday and plan meals. I'm taking this on begrudgingly... but I know that if I don't take the bull by the horns now, it will never get better.

Today, I decided to go easy on myself and cook a meal the entire family likes. It is the shredded chicken and poppy seed recipe. It's nice and fattening with cream of chicken soup and sour cream, topped off with crumbled up Ritz crackers with butter. Yeah. A dieters nightmare. (Luckily no one is dieting in this house!)

Of course, both girls wrinkled up their nose. While it was cooking, I told Abbey what we were eating, and she responded by telling me that she can't eat chicken because her tooth hurts. When I tried to remind her that she likes this dish, she just jumped up and down with tight fists and screamed.

When we all were at the table, Grace's response was to quickly shut her eyes tight rock back and front in her chair in a fit while whining... "uuuuuhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Thank goodness Michael went easy on me and dug in quietly.

After Abbey saw what recipe I was talking about, she dug in and Grace was sent to her room. As I type this, she is still at the table "eating".

I realized that THIS is why I hate cooking. If I make any effort in the kitchen, I get negative reaction from 100% of my family... so I've taken the easy way out. I realize this is my punishment for being a kid who was a picky eater herself. But I'm willing to take it on this week.

Tomorrow is meatloaf and instant mashed potatoes. I've already given Grace the menu for tomorrow so she can mentally prepare. If that works, then it should be a less drama filled dinner since the rest of us like my meatloaf.

Wish me luck.

Day 9- The Chicago Marathon

My good friend and neighbor Joy ran the Chicago Marathon today. What an incredible accomplishment!!! It was her first marathon, and to help out, my family took her parents and her children down to watch for her at Mile 20. The day went off without a hitch for us. Traffic was nill, parking was easy, and we were able to find a spot that wasn't crowded at all to cheer for the runners.

I honestly didn't think that I would enjoy spectating a marathon as much as I did. When we first arrived, about 2 1/2 hours after the race started, the runners were few and far between. It was fascinating to watch the athletes go by... so focused and determined. Every few minutes or so, you would find a runner in a tu-tu, or dressed up as a bunch of grapes, or where's Waldo. We even saw a man JUGGLING while running a decent clip.

Of course, we were there to cheer on our friend. But, it seemed selfish not to encourage the other runners as we waited. I didn't know this before today, but some runners wear their name on the front of their shirt. It's a more personal way to cheer for them other then "go runner..." When I realized this, we started to say "go Kim", "go Brandon", "go Tracy". And each time, the person would look you in the eye and give you a little wave to thank you for the encouragement. It was awesome. I know they made their goal today, and I'm glad I could be a two second part of that experience.

It for sure made me think about goals that we all set. The encouragement from others, either family, friends or strangers seem to be a very important key. Have you encouraged someone today to reach their goal?

Day 8- Mom's en route

I live in a small town in a far southwestern suburb of Chicago. (Okay, that's a lie.) Yes, my family and I do live in Plainfield, IL but it is far from a "small town". Twenty or so years ago, when the housing bubble began to grow... my town expanded quite a bit. (From 4,500 people in 1990 to 37,000 in 2007.) We moved here in 2006 when Abbey was 6 months old and Grace was not even 2.

When we moved here, we knew no one. It took a year to become friends with neighbors, and I joined a local Mom's group which introduced me to another few others. But, the friendships didn't really start to bloom until our girls started elementary school.

Many of you know that I'm the leader for Grace's Girl Scout troop. (A neighbor friend sucked me in...) I remember being so nervous to meet parents because I had no idea what I was doing. But now, I consider many of those Mom's friends. A mini Brownie troop of our own, in a weird way.

Today, our troop marched in our very first parade. The girls are definitely at an age where they don't need their Mommy's, so all of the Moms walked behind the girls and chatted the entire way. A few hooted and hollard and tried to pump up the crowd , some handed out candy and others hung back quietly but bobbed from one Mom to the next to say hello. I thought it was quite funny, because yes, being in the parade WAS all about the girls. But the Mom's had their own fun, and were Brownies for a day.

I had no idea the friends that I would make as a Mom. It has, no doubt, been an unexpected benefit for sure.

Day 7- For me

I'm giving myself a break today.... though I am officially blogging, to keep my commitment to his 31 day challenge. It's been a busy day, and I'm in for a long one tommorrow. I'm going to take myself upstairs, give myself a pedicure and call it a night.

I deserve this.

Good night blog.

Day 6- Whats for dinner?

The worst part of my job as a Mom is, hands down, preparing meals. I am horrible at it. I envy those people who can whisk through a grocery store, without a list, and buy all of the ingredients you need for a week of breakfast, lunch and dinner. That is so not me... and I honestly do not even think about meals until people are asking "whats for dinner" or my stomach is asking me the same question.

I like to think that if money grew on trees, I would be better at it. I would have all the proteins in the world to choose from. Freshly washed veggies in the fridge, and only the ripest of fruit. But, if I'm being honest... money has nothing to do with it. I just honestly don't have the interest in going through all of that effort, to gobble it up in minutes, and be left with a mess.

Recipes. Oh good lord. You should see how many of those I have! Does it inspire me? At the moment I'm ripping it out of a magazine yes. But a day later? Nope! I keep them all for some reason... you never know when you will have the gumption to make pheasant under glass. (And old family joke...)

I should also mention that my family is a bunch of picky eaters. My husband, is a meat and potatoes kind of guy. I'd prefer to have chicken or fish, and my oldest daughter doesn't like meat at all. (Or veggies, some fruit... she has survived on cheese since she was two.) My youngest daughter once made me cry when she tried and LIKED broccoli. She on the other hand, doesn't like pizza or chocolate. (Lord help me!)

So before I got home, I stopped by the store for some ground beef. (Which I had forgotten during my prior trip...) And brought it home... and starred. I grabbed one of those awful boxed hamburger helper type meals and whipped it up. Of course, Grace didn't want it, and ate a cheese pizza (on tortilla shells) but Abbey did seem to enjoy it. I thought it was okay, and when Michael got home, he finished it off. I know those type of meals are horrible to feed a family.... but I continue to fee uninspired standing in front of a stove.

I tease my husband that he would be the PERFECT partner if only he would know how to play the guitar AND love to cook.

I'm hopeful though. Hopeful that one day, the girls taste buds will mature... Michael will develop a taste for healthy options, and I will be able to get excited about cooking so that one day we all can sit around a table and enjoy a meal together without disappointment. (Oh and am I pushing it to wish for a maid to clean the kitchen too?)

Day 5- Abbey Cakes (part deux)

My youngest daughter Abbey is five, and will be six in December. I was able to change my work status from full time to part time when she was born. Having two kids in daycare did not make financial sense, so it was a no brain er. She's been in Kindergarten for one whole month now, and it's hard to believe those precious days at home with me will soon be over.

Abbey is so different from her big sister Grace. She is really coming into her own now, and I couldn't be more proud. If you don't know her, the first thing you might notice about her is her beautiful brown eyes. When she was a baby, she had slightly drooping chubby cheeks and the most beautiful anamae shaped eyes. They are still so bright, and when you speak to her, those eyes give you the feeling that she is there with you and no where else.

She's got a very deep voice for a little girl. For the longest time, my Mom would call and would hear her talking in the background, she would be worried that Abbey was sick. But, it was just her hefty voice sometimes mimicking others that she was hearing. (A trait from her daddy) I've caught her singing to the TV, and the alto voice is already there... The only thing high pitched about her is her occasional screech which can be heard for miles.

Unlike Grace, Abbey doesn't pick things up on her own. There were so many things that I didn't have to teach Grace like tying her shoes... she would just come home from daycare or school knowing it. But Abbey, is the frustrated kind and would just say "I CAN'T!" And run away and pout about it. Now that she's a bit older, I've been able to try and teach her patience with herself, and tell her it's okay to practice until you learn something.

She's funny. When she was a baby, I really worried about her. I worried that she would not fit into a family of jokesters. She would just stare at us blankly from her bouncy chair no matter how goofy we would be acting. I know now, that she is a quiet observer and has the natural ability to make people laugh. She's like her daddy and can pull things out of her hat when appropriate. Yesterday, at the grocery store she was laying down in the basket part of the cart staring up at the ceiling . I was down the isle from the cart searching for something when she realized I wasn't right there. She called out to me with perfect timing with her rich deep voice "Hey... was it something I said???"

The poor girl, has been given mine and my father's genes, in the rhythm department. (We have none.) When I see her trying to keep up with her sister, I feel so bad for her. Luckily most of the time when she is trying to bust a move, she's making fun and the entertainment is still there. I love it best though, when I find her on a stool in the kitchen, buttering bread for a snack and she's grooving to whatever song is playing in her head. Her eyes will be closed, and she will hum out loud... oblivious, or not caring who might be watching.

Recently, she started appearing on our laps in the evening for a cuddle. She had always been my
snuggle bug, but for about 6 months it's been resistant to that. I'm glad to see the pendulum has swung back on that. Her legs are ridiculously long and it's awkward, but I still try and hold her like a baby. She smiles and obliges me, and throws in a "goo-goo" and a "ga-ga" for effect.

Today, we had to go to the Girl Scout council store and I remember two years ago taking her as a 3 year old. Honestly, not much difference in the two years. She has always been easy on me, playing quietly in the kids spot. But this time, I was there not only for her sisters troop, but hers. It was kind of emotional considering next year should I need to go there, or anywhere else for that matter, she will not be in tow. She will be with the big kids in 1st grade.

So, as she grabbed my hand today as we walked together into the store, I was a little sad knowing that my baby is on her way... I was thinking to myself. "How can I remember this feeling of her little hand in mine?" "Should I take a mold, or a picture?" But then I remembered this blog, and was thankful I could take a different kind of snapshot of my baby at this moment in time.

Day 4- Girl Scouts and Codine

So, in case you haven't figured it out... I'm running about a day behind with this 31 day challenge. But I'm a mellow kind of girl, and am cool with that. ;O) I've been enjoying this so far. It's kind of fun, to pick an event in one day and take a lesson. It's probably even more fun, to kind of talk to my girls as if they were adults. I certainly wouldn't say "Stupid ass shit" to them at their current age of 5 & 7. Hopefully if and when they ever read this as adults, they will already know that yes, this is "Mom's" voice.

Girl Scouts and Codeine are the two major things that happened on this day. Girl Scouts, for the random e-mails and planning for the two troops that I'm involved with. The Codeine occurred when I woke up at 3:30 in the AM THINKING about all the Girl Scouts that I had to do. I've been dealing with a sinus thing, and as I reached for the Tylenol at 3:30 in the morning during a bout of insomnia... there was Grace's Ibuprofen / Codeine liquid from after her tonsileconomy. Is it bad that I didn't blink an EYE when opening the bottle and taking a few spoon fulls? Yikes. I used to be WAY more cautious than to do something silly like that.

Unfortunately, the stuff worked like a warm glass of milk, and put me into a wonderful deep (much needed) sleep.

Day 3- Double barrel shotgun

As a Facebook friend noted, I can check THAT one off the bucket list. Today I had a double barrel shotgun pointed at me.

No joke.

I work for a very small company, 5 full time employees and I'm the only part timer. We are an investment advisory firm, so if that's not stressful enough this day and age, add a shotgun to the mix. Yes, of course. I work for an INVESTMENT ADVISOR... and I've often wondered if a client would ever go postal on us and show up "a blazin". But that is not what happened today. Today, one of our employees came in with a old shotgun he found in his family home. His intention was to turn it into a police station... but brought it into the office to show and tell. He had left for the day, but then walked back into the offices behind my cubicle. The next thing I know, he says something to the effect of "hey lady" to me, and I turn around... and there it is. The narrow end of a gun pointed directly at me.

Now, I know this guy. And I know that HE knew that it was safe. But for a millisecond... I sure the hell didn't.

Now, seeing that I'm actually here... accounting this story... it's all good. I'm alive... no foul. But, I have to admit, I feel a bit harmed. The only thing I can say to myself is WTF was he thinking???

I've never touched a gun in my life. Except for a BB gun that my Dad had kept at our 5 acre property in Wisconsin we often visited when I was a kid. We would nail a white paper plate to a tree and have target practice. (I was a horrible shot) But even then, my parents DRILLED into my brain to NEVER EVER EVER point a gun at a person. If you ask her, my Mom will tell you a story about how her mischievous older brother chased after her with a BB gun, and shot her when she was ten. When she went to my grandmother to tell her... my grandmother told her "you shouldn't have ran". (Really Grandma... REALLY???)

Now. As I said. I'm on the other side of this. Alive and well. (Maybe even better, because when I told my husband this story, I've never seen him so serious. He did not like this one bit. I was just glad said employee wasn't in the living room with us at the time, because as respectful as my husband is to our elders... he would have had a serious "conversation" with this man. This maiden in distress felt all loved and stuff.) But seriously. What was he thinking?

To boil this all down, I guess it's fair enough to say that sometimes people do stupid ass shit. Sometimes we don't' think. Even a wise 75+ year old man, who knows the ways of the world and who is also a decent predictor of stocks, can do stupid ass shit. Since, this is my blog. And I'm allowed to take whatever conclusion I want and run with it. I'd have to go with yes, I've done plenty of "SAS" in my lifetime too. But never THAT stupid.

Have you ever done SAS before? (It still wasn't THAT stupid was it?) I hope you feel better. I do!

Day 2- Sunday, sweet Sunday

Well, I must have woken up on the other side of the bed today. Though, I'm tired... I'm not really interested in wining to much today. Saturday's work day paid off with a melow Sunday. Since we did make it to church Saturday night, I took the girls to Sunday school, and that was my only commitment. I even squeezed in a nap, a bike ride with the girls and some garending. Another beautiful day.

Commitment. I came SO CLOSE to blowing off day TWO of this challenge. But here I am typing away. So far so good. Another challenge we have signed up for is a weekly food pantry donation of 3 jars of peanut butter and jelly every week until the end of the year. Michael and I talked the the girls about people who are hungry, and find food gifts from generous people. We are going to start a money jar so that the girls can help around the house to help pay for the PB&J. (They seemed interested.) Will we all commit to this challenge? I hope so. Sadly, my kids know what it's like to have a coming close to empty pantry, like today. Though for us, payday is tomorrow... so we will make a trip to the store to pick out food for the next two weeks. How scary it must be to those families who will not have a payday and struggle to feed their children. Though I spent our last 5 dollars on jars of PB&J today, I tried to remember still how lucky we are.

Day 1- a Saturday hijacked

It's Saturday October 1st, 2011 68 degrees and sunny. The PERFECT fall day... it's already 2:35, and I want to scream "I want to do what I WANT TO DO!" But that would make no sense, because I could really do what I wanted if I could only ditch exercising, laundry, sorting through stuff, feeding these other Clarkes... well you get the idea.

How are you seriously supposed to get all of this stuff done and still have a life? I'm not exactly sure, but I think this 31 day challenge's title for me will be "time for me". I love being a Mom and a Wife, but there are days that I look back at my at single days... in the two apartments that were all mine, with fondness. What on earth did I do with all of that TIME?

So what did I do for myself today? Well... I did try to do my 3 mile walk run this morning. Yikes! A month of sitting my rear end sure did hurt me. My "eye of the tiger is GONE". But, I've never been to hard on myself when it comes to exercise... I tend to let myself off easy. Maybe there are worse things... maybe not.

For now, I'm off to finish cleaning the house. I had offered to have one of Abbey's friends come over for a play date... and it turned into her entire family coming over to "hang out". Not sure how that happened! So much for checking out the Saturday evening church service...

For my first post, I am including a photo of my pretty fall blooming Asters, which seem to thrive withought a bit of attention from me. Thank God.